Monday, July 19, 2010
Visit my friends
Watch Karate Kid
To finish the Spanish course I am doing
Get a Yahoo!messenger
To learn to cook better
To make a really fancy cake
To go to Tepotzlan
That is all I can think of right now.
( yes, Nikki, I know I am copying you, but I need to post, or no one will look at my blog anymore)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.
THIS WOULD BE ME
The judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, “Crook, come forward.” Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.
LEARN YOUR LESSON
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court,” he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through a red light’ five hundred times.”
AHH, THAT’S BETTER!
A judge in Louisville decided a jury went “a little bit too far” in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.
OOPS! I BLEW THAT ONE!
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Do Manufactures think we are idiots?
A reader found this on the Clorox disinfecting wipes container: Not to be used as a baby wipe or for personal cleansing
(But I wanted my butt to be lemony fresh!!!! Darn!)
On a baby stroller: Remove child before folding stroller
On a hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bar of soap: Use like regular soap.
On a frozen dinner: Serving suggestion – defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap: Fits one head.
On a dessert: Do not turn upside down. (This was printed on the bottom of the box.)
On a package of bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On a sleeping aid: Warning – may cause drowsiness.
On a kitchen knife: Warning – keep out of children.
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a bag of peanuts: Warning – contains nuts.
On an airline packet of nuts: Open packet, eat nuts.
In an automobile owner’s manual: Warning: Do not shift into reverse while driving forward.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Too many freaks not enough circuses
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Christopher James Larriva was born,
Dad turned 40
We started going to Spanish Classes
So now you see why I haven't been posting, it is because we haven't been doing so much recently, and the things that we have been doing, I don't have any pictures of. This post is for some people,(ehem, Anna) who have been complaining to me about not posting!
My Blog List
- ► 2012 (18)
- ► 2011 (10)
- I want to: Visit my friends Watch Karate Kid To fi...
- These are some pictures of Christopher's first bat...
- Stupid People Stories DEADHEADS A man in Orange Co...
- Do Manufactures think we are idiots? A reader foun...
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it...
- Recent Happenings: Christopher James Larriva was b...
- ▼ July (6)
- ► 2009 (18)