Decipher these Holiday-related songs or phrases! Each description represents a common song or line from a song heard during the holiday season. Some of the songs may be used more than once but with different descriptions. You will learn a few new words and their meanings if you read carefully and compare the answers to the statements!
The following is somthing I found on a friend's profile. Do not read if you don't like randomness.
Bella's excuse in Twilight
The best excuse Edward thought of for why Bella was all scraped up is Bella fell down a set of stairs, and through a window. First, how many hotel staircases have windows right at the bottom? Barely any. And maybe I've been mistaken my whole life but it's damn hard to crash through a window. Was Bella just hauling like 200 miles an hour down that staircase to be enough of a force to go barrelling through that window? Was this window just like really cheap or something? Because that might be a bit of a hazard if a storm blows through. What happens if a 30 mph wind goes on outside? The windows would implode, shattering all over hotel guests in which they'd certainly sue. I did not understand how anybody fell for this explanation. And another questions... how did they explain the bite mark on bella's hand, exactly? Because that's actually a pretty recognizable shape.
There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!
My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.
What a great email it was!!
Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).
Go for it!
SCROLL DOWN!
STOP!
Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.
Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!
If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.
This is scary!
The phone will ring right after you repost!
If Robert Pattison said "jump off a bridge" 99 percent of all females would do it. If your part of the 1 still alive and would push HIM off the bridge so he can see what he's done, copy this onto your profile!
DEADHEADS
A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.
THIS WOULD BE ME
The judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, “Crook, come forward.” Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.
LEARN YOUR LESSON
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court,” he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through a red light’ five hundred times.”
AHH, THAT’S BETTER!
A judge in Louisville decided a jury went “a little bit too far” in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.
OOPS! I BLEW THAT ONE!
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Do Manufactures think we are idiots?
A reader found this on the Clorox disinfecting wipes container: Not to be used as a baby wipe or for personal cleansing
(But I wanted my butt to be lemony fresh!!!! Darn!)
On a baby stroller: Remove child before folding stroller
On a hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bar of soap: Use like regular soap.
On a frozen dinner: Serving suggestion – defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap: Fits one head.
On a dessert: Do not turn upside down. (This was printed on the bottom of the box.)
On a package of bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On a sleeping aid: Warning – may cause drowsiness.
On a kitchen knife: Warning – keep out of children.
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a bag of peanuts: Warning – contains nuts.
On an airline packet of nuts: Open packet, eat nuts.
In an automobile owner’s manual: Warning: Do not shift into reverse while driving forward.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Too many freaks not enough circuses
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.Black highlighter
Waterproof tea bags
Braille driving manual
Dehydrated water
Screen door on a submarine
Helicopter ejection seat
Air conditioning for motorcycle
Left handed pencil
Wooden barbecue
Glow-in-the-dark sun dial
Gasoline fire extinguisher
Battery-powered battery charger
Clear correction fluid
Fake rhinestones
Fireproof matches
Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses
Mesh umbrella
Solar-powered flashlight
Tory looking insane
the finished product
in the process
Mom, can you please stop taking pictures?
